There is (almost) always middle ground, even when you are completely at odds with someone else’s point of view. In my latest podcast, I explore what it takes to find that space. Inspired by listening to a debate between two parties, seemingly with completely opposing opinions, I decided to explore…

I’ve wanted to start a podcast for some time but held off because the idea just wasn’t clear or urgent enough. But, after discovering Substack and porting some of my writing over there, it just happened. This series, and the name of the space I’ve created for it, is called…

Introducing a tool for navigating any difficult situation. — I’m relaunching my course: How to Fight Well with a new addition — the Fight Cards. It starts 14th March and you can book a place here I know that every conflict I face — within myself or with others — offers me invaluable insight that can radically improve my…

Why we need to get better at managing our own issues with conflict before trying to sort our our kids’ fights. I’ve been teaching conflict and communication to people for years, in all sorts of challenging corporate environments. I’ve had people walk out of workshops and unhappy stakeholders shout at…

A short course on getting better at boundaries. — Saying “No” makes many people feel uncomfortable. But when you say “Yes” to the wrong things, everybody suffers. Yet it’s still so easy to end up saying yes — even if that means we are compromising our needs by committing ourselves to something we don’t actually need or want to…

How to understand what your boundaries are and to get better at standing by them, for less stress and a more creative life. — Being boundaried is not just about pushing back on the things you can’t accept. When we have a clear sense of our own boundaries, we have a clear sense of who we…

There’s a model in psychology called ‘The Drama Triangle’, created by someone called Dr Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. It gives us a way of understanding patterns and roles within relationships. In it we learn about three archetypes that all of us slip into at some point: the victim, the…

A few months ago, I wrote a blog post that developed a life of its own. …

When we’re triggered we feel urged to act immediately. But those actions often come with unintended, unhelpful consequences. Here’s how to change that. — (This is part two of a series on how to engage in healthy conflict, as taught in my practice of How to fight well — you may like to read Part One first). Your heart rate’s up, your mind is racing, you’re feeling angry or scared. Someone else — a…